TOGGS-DOGS (fighting the flab)

Friends, collies and Millie – my comrade in paws,

We don’t seem to be gathering much support for DADI (Dogs Against Diets Incorporated). Our poor fellow victims must be too weak, from their diets, to even think about marching for their rights. Therefore, I think we need to up the anti and go radical. Millie, are you up for it?

To start off with, here’s something to wear when we are forced to go to those two legged things in white coats, who are licenced to put us through horrible examinations and invade our bits and bobs.

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DAVID! is a new slogan. It stands for, Dogs Against Veterinary Imposed Diets. You just have to print this off, onto an adhesive label, and find a badge to stick it onto. I’m told your people have done their bit of lobbying and marching in their time, so there should be the odd badge knocking about the place. Don’t get them mixed up though. I think your vet would accuse you of casting aspersions on his veterinary ethics, about segregated dogs, if you went in wearing an anti-apartheid badge. Becky – my person’s niece – is big into supporting the underdog, so I’ll I see if I can get her to find us a ready supply of cheap badges. I’m sure that when we have a few barks, with fellow travellers in the waiting room, they’ll be champing at the bit to join our campaign.

I was in one of the torture chambers again today and had a nasty receptacle inserted into my left nostril. I think Andy was a bit sympathetic to my cause (despite his professional status) because he did manage to relent a bit, compensating for the intrusion with a small portion of Danish blue.

Just one question for you Millie, how are your leadership skills? I’m big on vision and direction myself but I’m a bit lacking in the tact and diplomacy department. Don’t forget to check out the comments part of my posts on the website, where I type my replies to you.

I’m also big into power napping. Does that come under leadership?

And so to bed.

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Love Ben xx

Paws down for justice

Friends, collies and Millie,

I have just had some disturbing correspondence from my friend Millie, in Norfolk. It seems like she is on one of these diet things too even though, at 12, she is still fit enough to catch cock pheasants. Maybe she was driven to it by the lack of food.

Anyway, I’m starting a new movement (if you’ll pardon the expression), ‘Dogs Against Diets Incorporated’, or DADI for short. Any takers?

I’ll just have a little snooze while I’m waiting for replies.

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Love Ben xx

Learning to grow a thick skin

Friends, collies and resilient dogs,

The soft furnishings at home proved to be a wonderful repository for my reflections on past glories, over the winter months. With a bottle, or two, of Snuffles beer to wash down an ample supply of doggy doughnuts, and a roaring fire in the grate, I found a glowing satisfaction creeping over me. I could settle down nicely to a bit of writing, followed by a very pleasant long snooze.

Unfortunately, I have had to accept the consequences of this more sedentary lifestyle and learn all about the horrible things that people can say to those who are a bit on the portly side. It’s all rather upsetting but I have to take it on the chin, with a stiff upper lip, apparently. First of all it was “getting a bit podgy” and then “he’s filling out a bit isn’t he” and also, “what a chubby tummy”. Finally, Andy confirmed it when I popped on the scales and kept my eyes shut. I came in at a whopping 25Kg. This might be why the old girl objects so strongly when I go in with a running tackle to make sure she doesn’t get the ball.

Now, all my sliver linings, mentioned in paragraph one, are a thing of the past; a distinct golden memory. Even my dinner bowl looks too big for it’s contents.

I’m thinking of starting a campaign, ‘Save Ben’s Tummy’, but not before I have a good sleep. I’m feeling rather weak.

Ben sleeping

Love Ben xx

Going off message with your permission – re my survey results!

Friends, collies, Bo & Sunny

I’m so pleased you don’t mind when I stray a little from the hills, to let you in on the musings of a young dog about the very confusing world he has been catapulted into.

Well… I’ve been sitting on this one but a recent bit of intelligence has tipped me over the edge. In all honesty, I’m barking mad about it. Did you know there has been a long and noble history of something similar to me at the seat of the most powerful government for 150 years. Fair enough, there has also been a feline kicking around Downing Street for a bit, ingratiating itself with a number of incumbents, but I guess that is a reasonable representation of the state of play: dogs in Washington, cats in London; sorry Tink 😦

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https://www.whitehousehistory.org/white-house-pets/top-dogs-at-the-white-house

Well apparently – with the new man – all that is a thing of the past. I think that says it all. After all our stately duties and ambassadorial appearances, to say nothing of our calming properties soothing the great minds of high office. No longer is there a guiding bark to steer the President’s tweeting hand. I can only predict that nothing good will come of this.

Can you imagine what I would do if I could get close to those ankles? Guess what, B wouldn’t even try to restrain me, despite her pacifist tendencies.

What would you do if you were a dog? Please only reply with things that won’t close my blog down forever.

Burying my head in the sand Ben’s Towers.

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Love Ben x

I lied!

Friends, collies and cunning little hounds,

Actually, I didn’t lie deliberately when I said my next blog would be to post the results of my survey, on 23rd March, I just hadn’t anticipated how excited I’d be. I can’t keep my paws still till I have spilt some of the beans and tapped out a quick response. Thank you very much for taking me seriously enough to complete the survey. The three words that describe my reaction are humble, humble, humble. Apparently, I’m informative, funny, inspirational and warm hearted. Oh goodness, what accolades for an erstwhile sheep chasing cur, with a penchant for tasty ankles.

My survey is still open till 23rd March.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/FD7WXLP

The results will still be published shortly after that. It looks like, by popular demand, my blogs will be monthly to include Munro updates with a short and snappy one in between. A sort of dog blog to go, for my busier readers. I am also working on some charts to show progress. Yet another learning curve on this adventure. I think B can show me how to do this on Excel but, if anyone knows of any freebies on the net don’t be slow in coming forward, please.

I hope you will forgive a few quick posts over the next couple of weeks. This is because I am going to contact lots of doggy loving celebs. to try and get them to support our cause and read my blog. Therefore, I need to have a few short posts for them to scroll through so they can get a quick flavour of my literary style.

Oh dear, it’s all a tad overwhelming for a little fellow; need sleep.

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Love as always,

Ben x

 

 

 

 

Customer Satisfaction Survey

Friends, collies and form fillers everywhere,

I’m afraid the time has come. B hasn’t done half the things she needed to over the winter so it looks like I’m going to have to do all the work again and I need to increase my traffic, as us bloggers say. Therefore I need to know if I’m on the right track, or not. ALL advice most welcome.

So… please, please, please fill in my survey monkey dogquest. I really honestly need to know if you like my dog blog and how I can make it better, or if I would be better served nipping B until she updates her own stuff.

No news, in this case, would be very bad news indeed. There are only seven questions so please click on the link below and give me your honest opinion. I will publish the results in my next blog.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/FD7WXLPl

Closing date is 23rd March.

This has been v. v. v hard work indeed.

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Love Ben x