Friends, Collies, dogs on Zoom,
Even us dogs have been in changed times because of this COVID interloper. While we have done a sterling job, keeping our people happy, I’m now allowed to spread my paws a bit more, so I need to put all those coronavirus related words – that have invaded my head space – behind me. Then I can enjoy my walking and, of course, write all about it for my blog. I think the best way to do this is to wipe out the whole experience in one big cathartic A – Z.
However, I’m stuck on J. So, help me out please, on my alphabetic tour around a canine experience of Coronavirus – one of Ben’s special prizes could be yours 🙂
A = Anti Bacterial paw gel
Doesn’t half sting when it penetrates the cracks in my pads.
B = Boris
A nasty little whipper snapper I sometimes bump into. He’s nothing like the great British Bulldog he seeks to imitate.
C = Clap for carers
Double the money with my four paws, though what they really need is lots more of that money so they can have lots of nice treats too.
D = Disinfectant
Really, what bleach? won’t I have to keep touching up my roots?
E= Eye sight
Colour blind myself, but still seeing red about that Orwellian squealer at No. 10.
F = Furlough
Does it extend to working dogs?
G = going, going…
H = Hancock
I heard mention of a protective ring. Are we talking Frisbees?
I = Incompetence
Barks for itself.
J = Can you help me out please?
K = Key Worker
Thank you, with all my heart, to everyone who has kept Pets at Home open.
L = Lockdown
I’ve put on a heck of a lot of weight so, who is it I contact for one of those free quad bikes? Do I still qualify if I take part in the “Eat out, to help out” scheme? I’m v. v. v interested in helping out here.
OMG – I dare you!
N = Nicola
I’ve grown to admire her greatly. She’s the dog’s b…, but apparently I’m not allowed to say that.
O = Online
The only way to keep in touch with your pals.
P = PPE
I’m clued up on the pees, but never done e’s before.
Q = Quarantine
Now I know why the caged dog howls.
R = R number
Speaking for myself, I wasn’t allowed to reproduce.
S = Shielding
I’ve got Pedigree Chum home delivery on speed dial, just in case.
T = Test and Trace (by smell of course)
Get those working dogs out of furlough – we’re across it.
U = UN-precedented
If I hear that word once more… dogs obviously have longer memories than our people (1258…, & then again, 1918 – to mention just two episodes).
V = Vaccine
I don’t do needles – full stop.
W = wide berth
2 metres, I’m thinking lamp posts.
X = Xponentially
It’s just possible I’m dyslexic.
Y = Yellow Peril
Could this describe a cheeky little Shih Tzu I’ve just got to know.
Z = Zoom
A new punchy cocktail, made just to celebrate my person’s retirement this Friday.
Oh my goodness me, that was hard work – need to essay the soft furnishings.
Lots of love,