Friends, collies and the wonderful feline species,
As you know my Munro days are over this year and so B was bringing all our gear in for the winter, a week or so ago. She opened up the back door of my van and there it was, everywhere. Evidence that a moose had been having a rare old time, all over my hoose. The horrid little creature did it business in all our bits and pieces and it’s all B’s fault.
Further investigation revealed that one of our boxes – one with food in it – wasn’t properly shut, but the blighter didn’t stop at that. It had a good old nibble at B’s sleeping mattress and the self inflating bit of it might be damaged now. Luckily my bed was OK, otherwise I might not want to sleep in it again. I go all yucky when I even think about it.
Then the cheeky so and so got through the grill to the drivers cabin, and into a bag hanging behind B’s seat. First it had a nibble at the purse where she keeps small change, for phone boxes. I think it wanted to phone a few friends and invite them to a party because next, it did it’s best to get into the small bottle of malt whiskey that she keeps in there too.
For the past 10 days, we have been fighting a loosing rear guard battle, to rid my van of the impish rodent. First of all a spider went for the food and triggered the trap door. Next ‘our’ mouse made it’s way back when it had scooted out of it’s trap near the van, and did the same again when we let it go a few 100 metres away. Next, it worked out how to tip the trap on its side so the door couldn’t shut. Then yesterday, when we had the trap propped up – to prevent toppling – it seemed like we had succeeded. B took it for a midnight drive and even sang to it (poor thing!). But… it seems like she was singing to an empty trap because, in the field of great release, no one could see any mouse scampering off when the hatch was opened; though plenty of peanut butter was gone from the trap – my peanut butter too, if you don’t mind.
Of course what I really need is a feline creature to do patrol duty for me. I’m thinking of having a word in the ear of those cat protection people; see if we could come to some sort of deal. That is unless you fancy a holiday Tink. Come to think of it, I’m not that happy about sleeping in my van when we go away next year now so… how about a six month sabbatical next spring. Then you could come to the Highlands with us. I’m sure we would get on OK, but I’m not convinced sleeping in my bed would work. My natural instincts might out themselves in my dreams and then all hell would let loose in a small space.
Anyway, let me know when you are coming and I’ll get the food in. We can celebrate with a midnight feast in my van once I’m convinced you have seen off the imposter. Perhaps you could bring up some malt whiskey from home. I’ve been told your person often has a bottle or two stashed away somewhere.
Though perhaps, on second thoughts, I’d better stay off the booze. I’ve been having some very odd dreams lately.