My first ever presentation and a new Christmas jingle

Friends, collies and my new friend Sharon,

Oh my dog, what a brilliant day! And, I was soooooo goooood.
It got off to a great start but then it got even better. A gold star was awarded for good conduct on our forest walk. At first this was easy because there were none of those orienteering blighters who spoil my copy book because I find their ankles so attractive. But then, knock me down with a horseshoe, Lucky came storming around the bend at a great gallop. Normally she trots to a halt when we meet up and I have to occupy myself with a bit of digging while David and Lucy’s person have a chat. Surprisingly – given my temperament – I’m quite laid back about this, even though Lucky’s alarmingly tall. Not so today. Golly gosh, she flew round the bend – what speed! Much faster than any pip squeak orienteer. It felt to me like she wanted a race and boy was I up for it. As fast as David could say “where’s Ben’s whistle”, I was in full flight, onto the chase and making ground too with adrenalin pumping through me and eyes fixed on equine ankles. Exactly then, I heard a desperate peep, peep, peep and you should have seen my next move. I did a magnificent 180 in mid-flight and ended up at Dave’s feet in a millisecond, looking for cheese. In truth I was a bit disappointed at missing out on a nip, but I’ve been informed that I could well have come out of that particular encounter the worst off. So all in all a good move with lots of cheese and praise to boot. Seems like those games of hide and seek in the garden, when I have to respond to a whistle (for food obviously), have paid off after all. I had a nice little smug sleep on the way home, not expecting anything exciting to happen until dinner time. How wrong could I have been.

To be honest I thought it was a bit odd to be left in the car when we got home and stranger still to be motoring down the road again 15 minutes later. I raised a regal paw and waved at neighbours as I passed by, trying to assume an air of authority, even though my stomach was in pieces – I’m not got with change.

It wasn’t long before we arrived at a new place with lots of smells of  rubber. I had a good sniff around and then saw lots of four wheeled things that are in somewhat better condition than my old van, or our younger Skoda come to that. Some big sliding doors gave way to a display of exceedingly impressive vehicles. I imagine these would shout out at you if you were about to lock your keys into them,  not let you do the deed and rue the consequences; B could definitely do with one of these. Just at that point I got several pieces of sausage for doing nothing, or so it seemed to me. It put me in a happy frame of mind and then we met Sharon, who already knew my name. She welcomed me with lots of gentle strokes and she was nice and calm so we got on famously. Next up, I gets to meet a man in a funny jumper. He had one of those pointy things that B uses at summit cairns, except his was MUCH bigger. Finally, I meets Colin. It seems that he is the big cheese around these parts so obviously I liked him very much. I was quite the thing getting lots of strokes from everyone and bits of sausage kept coming my way. There were lots of doggy smells around and that put me at my ease too. I was what they call the centre of attraction  and very enjoyable it was too; no shrinking violet me – life’s too short, especially a dogs life. The next bit was rather scary because a large heavy rectangular thing was hoisted right above me so I just sat, like I was told to; better safe than sorry. What happened next certainly kept my attention, bright lights flashing repeatedly in my direction. I had absolutely no idea what was going on but I was certainly in the lime light for some reason.

So there we have it, my big day. I was a celebratory for 15 minutes and it has quite gone to my head. Life will never be so exciting again. I know now if I get frightened up a Munro I’m going to shout at the top of my bark “I’m a celebratory get me out of here.”

I came home and made up a song (to be sung to the tune of Jingle Bells) to thank Arnold Clark for my lovely day and all they are doing to help me and B. It goes,

Arnold Clark, Arnold Clark

Friends with me today.

Oh what fun it is too climb

With AC all the way.

Oh dear, it’s all been a bit much. Must lie down

452

Love Ben xx

PS Will send you a photo of my big day when I get it.

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