Jeepers, creepers, what did I do to deserve that?

Friends, Collies, Sharmans,

Lovely smells have cropped up in my blogs now and again, haven’t they? Well, the stench from those white woolly things. It’s enough to drive a young collie delirious. It grows and grows and I get beside myself. Then, last week, one of them popped up from nowhere and took off, and so did two more, and so did I. I was flying, exuberant, life had never been so exciting. Unfortunately, I had also gone deaf. Something went badly, and I mean badly wrong. Next time I saw one, and just looked – well, maybe I tugged on my lead a bit. OK, OK, I tugged a lot. Then the Wainwrights, they roared all around me. I was SOooooo scared. I kept jumping up for a cuddle and to be reassured but, I got frog marched through them and I became a very frightened young dog.

Today, I got all  hyped up because we were somewhere new. The smells though familiar were fresh and fragrant. Well, fragrant to a doggy nose anyway. How deluded could a Collie dog be? I wish I hadn’t put on my sunny hat but had found a black one, that covered my ears and eyes.

The morning was all confusing. I met a new two legged thing, who seemed nice enough. We did lots of walking and sitting and waiting. They did lots of that talking they never stop doing, as well as laughing and bending over – in fact creasing up. I was beginning to feel better about everything, though I must have lost my touch, because there was a distinct lack of treats.

Then in the afternoon there were woolly things again. I didn’t want to look but, oh the smells. What was I to do. I don’t think there were any Wainwrights because it was silent. A bit too silent in retrospect. I looked at the sheepy creatures, all alluring and enticing; I started off towards them. WOW, WOW, WOW, DEAR DOG IN HEAVEN, the noise. Louder than anything ever before. I thought my ear drums had burst. Not just that but a crackly, rattly misile from the sky whoosed part me at 100 miles an hour. I was shattered, all my golden days stolen from me in less than a milli second. Crushed and terrified I couldn’t move an inch. I thought to myself I’m NEVER, EVER going to even steal a glance at those temptresses again. I HATE their smells. No one gave me any treats and I learnt a VERY, VERY hard lesson. Before we left we did lots of walking in circles, with some nice tasty chesse, but I just wasn’t the same boy after all that.

What an experience, I’m exhausted.

Bed please


Love Ben x

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